Adam and I first got together when we were really young. I was 15 and he was 18. And though we had our moments of seeing other people, for the most part, we were together throughout that time. Which meant several years of a long distance relationship – through college and the first few years he lived in DC before I moved down to be with him. And most of this time was before texting (which I realize makes me sound incredibly old), and definitely before Facetime. So what kept our relationship going was good old fashioned phone calls. Even when we were “seeing other people” we still spoke every day.

Most of the time I loved our daily calls. Sometimes I did not. Like the time I received an urgent call at my office from colleagues of his I didn’t know down in Virginia, alerting me to the fact that Adam had just eaten a whole bunch of Atomic Hot Wings on a dare during lunch and literally couldn’t speak. Like he hadn’t been able to speak for about 20 minutes, was completely red and in a deep sweat with labored breathing. Apparently he had to sign a waver at the restaurant in order to do it…they assumed he would ultimately be okay, but thought they should call me at work in New York to give me the play-by-play of what was going on just in case. In a panicked state I managed to ask what any concerned girlfriend would: “Did he at least get anything for eating them?” Five dollars. It would have been a hundred, but he had only eaten 9 of the 10. Which totally made sense, because Adam was known for always missing one critical detail.

There was also the time he called letting me know I would need to be a key character witness in his trial (but that’s a story for another day). The rest of the phone calls were usually really great though.

Of course in person visits were always preferable to calls, and what we looked forward to every month. With him in DC and me in NY, we had the US Air shuttle out of LaGuardia/Reagan that was pretty cheap, so each month we alternated who would come visit. On one particular Friday afternoon, I was so excited to arrive at LGA. It was Valentine’s Day weekend, weather was good, and the flight appeared to be on time. There was just one hiccup. You see, this was the day I got detained at the airport for police questioning.

Why you might ask? Because Adam had apparently stocked my bag (all of my bags) with mace – you know, for those nights I walked home alone after work in NYC. But this wasn’t just any mace. This was a combination of pepper spray, tear gas and UV dye…only available on the black market. And I had absolutely no idea it was in my bag. So when I went through security, you can imagine my complete shock when I was pulled aside for carrying an illegal assault weapon. Thankfully the police officer was very understanding when I started rambling about stories of my crazy boyfriend. He escorted me to my gate so I would make my flight…and told me to tell my boyfriend he better take me out for a really nice dinner after the ordeal he put me through. Even back then Shmadum had fans.

But I digress. The real point of this story has to do with a phone call Adam made one fateful day in 2004. Back then he was working in a testing lab for a network security company. He had been introduced to this new woman – let’s call her Linda – who was working with him to design the lab with all the necessary equipment and furniture. They had met in person a few times that week and he needed to get back to her with confirmation on what to order. So he called her…it went to voicemail…and the message he left went a little something like this:

“Hi Linda – this is Adam. I’m just calling to let you know we’ve made a decision on what equipment to order. If you could please call me back this afternoon, I’d really appreciate it. Thanks. Love you. Uh…”

Followed by an incredibly long silence since he had no idea what to do. He could keep talking and explain that he has a long distance girlfriend, and that we talk on the phone every night, and so naturally, he is just really used to ending the conversation with “I love you.” But he feared that would only make it worse. If he hung up, it would be recorded for all of eternity. So he just sat there frozen for a few awkward seconds longer…with just the sound of him breathing over the phone. And at last, defeated, he hung up.

Needless to say, he never heard back from her.

#shmadum

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Thankfully for me, I now have a great anecdote to share at presentations with sales and marketing professionals when I need a perfect example about the need to be personal in your relationships with customers and prospects…but not too personal.