Adam is a man of hobbies. Many many hobbies. I’ve never met anyone else who seems to have quite as much time for leisure activities as he does. But these aren’t ordinary hobbies. These are hobbies that typically have a decent ‘start-up’ cost. Take up ALL of his time for weeks on end (since they usually require that he build something). Make a huge mess of my house. And then get completely forgotten about just as quickly as they started.

It was January of 2010. We had been living in our new house for about 3 months. With rooms to paint, renovations to be made, furniture to purchase and a new puppy…clearly this made the perfect time for Adam to take on his first major hobby in the suburbs. I was traveling back from a work trip to DC. When I arrived home, there were 13 separate and humongous boxes outside of my house. I couldn’t even get in the door. I immediately asked Adam what he possibly could have ordered, to which he excitedly responded…MY BOAT’S HERE!

Umm…okay. So apparently he ordered a boat. And it came in 13 pieces. What kind of boat was this you may ask? An inflatable boat. And one he would need to put together himself. So he and his friend took the weekend to build the boat…in my family room. Now it was no yacht – but it was still 12.1 feet (to be exact) – which is quite a structure to be sitting inside your house. And there it stayed for a several weeks until he found somewhere to store it. (He had spent so much time building it, it was ‘crazy’ to simply deflate it and put it in the garage). And unfortunately he was months away from actually being able to use it since it was the middle of winter. As always, his timing was impeccable.

So I was complaining about it to my work colleagues one day and trying to explain how ridiculous it was that this monstrosity was just sitting in my family room. Naturally, they asked to see a picture. So I asked Adam if he could send me the photo I took of him and his friend sitting it in after they proudly finished putting it together. He said – just give me a minute. And a little while later, here’s what he sent through:

They weren’t sure what was funnier – that there actually was a ridiculous boat inside my house. Or the fact that he had taken the time to blur out their faces for some absurd reason. As if that would make this whole thing less embarrassing somehow.

But the story doesn’t end there. Turns out, the State of NJ requires you to have a permit and state certification to operate any boat over 12 feet. His was 12.1. So he had to register for a full weekend certification course on boat safety and navigation if he was ever going to want to actually take this boat out on a lake.

As the class began, the instructor suggested they each go around and share what kind of boat they had so he could really personalize the training for them. One person had a 25 foot sailboat. Another a 50 foot yacht. And so on. When it got to Adam he awkwardly said, “I have an inflatable pontoon.” They just stared at him. So he added, “It’s actually in my car right now – I could bring it in if anyone wants to see it.” They all had a good laugh, but Adam ultimately wasted a bunch of time and money getting certified.

I will say, he has definitely taken this boat out at least 4 times in the 5 years since then, so clearly this was all a solid investment. And then he got bored and moved on to a canoe this past summer. Even got my daughter in on the action. (He’s still big on the whole boat-in-the-family-room thing).

But at least he is now officially certified to sail any size ship down the Intracoastal Waterway. #Shmadum